lah dee dah , ms.iyer

it’s not easy being pseudo intellectual. it’s not easy being pseudo british either. every morning for the past three months , i have been waking up to liam gallagher hurling abuses at fans in wembley stadium. great advances in cellular technology at the sony ericsson labs afford me the luxury of waking up to his voice as my alarm signal.

i never understand why exactly i chose this rather rude monologue to shake me up from long periods of hebetude. it is ,im convinced , intricately intertwined with the reason i watch bbc instead of cnn and say ‘arse’ instead of ‘ass’. i grew up to my mother humming along to songs sung by the beatles and my father watching ‘yes, minister!’. so i’d like to think that subliminally i have been programmed to spell programmed as p-r-o-g-r-a-m-m-e-d and subliminally programmed to have a low tolerance for it being spelt anyhow else. although in all my idiocy , i must admit that the americans also do spell programme in the past tense as programmed. but you get the point and now all my attempts at being witty and satirical have been screwed over.

never mind.

i rather enjoy my long bouts of do-nothingness. so it vexes me when i hear that only-too-familiar voice that sends sound waves through my auditory nerve to my brain and forces it out of inertia. i wake up extremely sulky and walk into the hall on my way to the bathroom. enroute i grunt 'coffee' to nobody in particular , and its amazing how it always is ready before i sit on the sofa to read the funnies. i’m not too sure , but i do think my dear mother has something to do with it.

the bathroom is my sanctuary. it is where most people to do the mundane things that society requires them to do before they step out to face the world.

but me , i truly awaken when i am in the shower. i enjoy every minute of it, squeezing larger-than-necessary amounts of nice smelling viscous liquids on the loofah and on my hair. my favourite fifteen minutes of the day. i feel a great sense of exhilaration that my skin is now glowing and hair is now in all its élan thanks to the extracts of ylang ylang, aloe, jojoba, echinacea ; sunflower seed oil , swiss botanicals, hydrolysed silk protein , mint leaves , beeswax and rabbit’s foot.

when im done with my shower , my mother says i leave the bathroom like a tsunami hit it. that’s been happening only since December 26th 2004. before that, it was a tornado.

alsooooo my baby sister has started blog ! everyone must go see. chicken foot - thats her there.

.dee out

p.s for no apparent reason , but for the fact that she will be leaving cks tomorrow, this post goes out to my sweetie aunty jade lotus. thank you for all the ‘zen’ .

unfinished business

this is my mood right now...
i promise to point and hurl obscenities at you.

i am an angry mouse... an angry angry mouse..

dee out.

drum roll please........

he did it .. he did it

he won best actor.. my joaquin phoenix did . at the golden globes..
he's going to win the oscar too.. i hope...

and what a nice man .. he dedicated the award to jonny cash and his wife for sharing their lives with us...

yay .
everyone cheer !

a face to the name

i was thinking .. and also my thought was greatly influenced by a number of factors (and lady beryl's protesters outside my office... with placards screaming UPDATE !!! .. damn . i knew i should have maintained top security about my work and whereabouts ) ..

ok .. now hopefully everyone has understood the train of my thought .. cheee. that sounds sooo cliche.. train of thought , it seems .. anyway... where i left off..

i was thinking . i give you children in depth accounts of my life and the people in it .. with not one picture.. no .. there seem to be many stories .. but no pictures.. maybe of food .. and borrowed comics , but no people ..

yes .. which reminds me of a story ... to the left , you will see a sweet picture of my sister...16 years of age .. how cute no.. she had an accident on the scooty where this loony old lady came and stopped right in front of jinja's bike .. and then the old lady had broken toe , broken nose and three stitches on head.. i must say for her first accident , although obviously traumatised , the little one handled it very very calmly. i was very very impressed. took the lady to the hospital and called my mom and i there..

calling me obviously wasnt the greatest of ideas.. the evening ended pretty late with the old lady's (older.. if you please ) sister calling me a malicious young woman .. tut is all i have to say .. tut ... all i asked for was a written receipt for the money we paid as hospital expences... other story .. other time ...



now thats me and hasina ( cubicle cockroach .. are you working hard .. or hardly working .. hhhahahaa .. how unfunny indeed) .. thats us at pecos .. the day I sprayed pepper spray in a public place.. do i look apologetic.. i think not..
my zulfon wali is leaving the office soon .. how will i ever .. ever surrviivveee. ? i sing to her everyday .. that seems to make her wait for her departure from cks with greater eagerness.... ijit bastid..




my mom , rajashree ,
i call her ma .. like da or ba or ra , except make the 'm' sound first..
thought i'd put her on the site.. just ..
that picture i took from the top of my bunk bed , thats not really a bunk bed , its like the study table is below the bed , you can see my sisters study table .. its across the room from mine..
does your phone have the option of taking cool sepia tone pictures from atop furniture that is solely made to refresh a fatigued mind ?
mine apparently does..



and to the left , ladies and gentletmen , you will see a picture of vipul ganatra.
best friend , confidante and boyfriend.

i know he's looking down and i know you can hardly see his face.. he's camera shy .. like chipmunks are .. i've tried taking pictures of chipmunks, i cant seem to.. they're on the tree outside my house all the time , but run like crazy when i get my super cool phone out to take pictures of them ..
vipul doesnt run . he only abuses.. in a nice, endearing way .

so thats it for now .. with the pictures i mean.. not for the ranting .. and you thought you could get away...
you didnt think it was going to be that easy did you ? (for those of you who cant place that dialogue , go do something painful to yourselves. like now..)

ok .. now before i sign off .. everyone who ever comes to this blog knows how much i love too much coffee man , right ? i have mentioned it on several occasions and have even copy - pasted something that the person who reviews the tmcm comic book wrote on a forum known as the coffee filter..

anyway .. he read my blog and he thinks that i am a good writer .. yes .. he does and honestly .. that made my week! . thanks so much, matt !!! thank you for reading the blog.. all the way from america..! where 51% of the moronic population voted for george bush ! which doesnt include you , matt, comment the next time you come this way . so the people will believe me .... !

ok .. dee out.